Father and son in nature (Thinkstock)
Social media is rife with reasons not to have kids.
There's the oft-quoted University of Canterbury, New Zealand, study that finds that alcohol and sex are more enjoyable than raising children. There's Elite Daily's ongoing battle for the childless 20- and 30-somethings who want their parents to read articles like "5 reasons I don't want kids." There's reminders from organizations like the Urban Institute that women my age and younger are reproducing less than previous generations. (This last one makes anyone who understands how Social Security works quaver in their shoes.)
But I'm here to put the brakes on that, and to thank every father who has changed a diaper, sat up late at night with a sick child, or fitted training wheels to a bike for their contributions.
I'm here to cheer the dads that laughed when they watched "We're not young" instead of crying. Thank you to each and every dad who soothes cries, who helps with school projects, and who takes genuine joy in spending time with their kids. You are integral to the sanity of millions of mothers nationwide and the happiness of countless families.
We're told how inconvenient it is in these modern times to have children -- babies make binge-watching Netflix shows so inconvenient, or drinking with friends until 3 a.m. difficult!
Poor dads are in the middle of this culture war, a media landscape that tells them that having kids is a soul-crushing mistake that will rob them of mountain climbing trips or vacations in tropical destinations.
Let's be real. Having kids, for most of the men and women who choose to do it, is the most important job they will ever have. Not everyone gets to be a lucky astronaut or president, so for the rest of us, there's this to add meaning to our otherwise dull lives.
Anyway, according to Bryan Caplan at George Mason University, there's plenty of good reasons to be selfish and have more kids. He argues that a child's success is mostly tied to their genetics and far less to parental effort -- sorry, parents, if I'm bring you bad news. So here's the good news spin: If you're feeling lazy this Father's Day, this might be just the news to wash you clean of any guilt.
Let's stop the perpetual pursuit of our own happiness as defining whether we have kids or sterilize ourselves. If you wanted to be happy, you'd get a pet. Kids bring an emotional roller coaster of immeasurable joy and sometimes deep heartache. You know your dog is never going to tell you that they hate you or crash your car into something, but it's possible, maybe even likely, that your kid will. On the other hand, your child will hopefully say "I love you" and mean it, but your dog's display of endearment will mean bringing home a half-eaten animal carcass. It's still love, but not the same.
So to dads everywhere, enjoy your day. Know that you're appreciated, even if your kids don't say so.
And like Caplan advises, relax, because your kids are probably going to turn out whatever way they're meant to, despite your best efforts.
Read more at the APP Home and School blog.
